Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control! Please do so and share it with all your friends today.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0')}; To start the fun, enjoy an insulting quote from one of my favorite comedies.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-banner-1-0')}; I fart in your general direction. I like how you look, but it’s too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.— French Guard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Please tell me you don’t home-school your kids. You have your whole life to be a jerk….so why don’t you take a day off so.. leave me a message for when I get back!!!! Your face is so ugly, when you cry the tears run UP your face. It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid rather than open it and remove all doubt. I couldn’t warm to you if you were on fire. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on earth. Below you’ll find the best of them. Remember JESUS loves you but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot. When a movie needs to come out RIGHT NOW. “I like you.”First of all, I like me too try again. In case your favorite comeback isn’t on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Don’t piss me off today, I’m running out of places to hide bodies. Yes I do, it's my Religion. I don't remember asking you. How would you know? You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to . I’d slap you but I don’t want to make your face look any better. I was hoping for a battle of wits but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed. “Can I ask you something?” First of all, you just did. This is a pretty strong response, but it lets the speaker know that you are not in the mood to be messed with. 6. I don't have to keep up witty conversations 24/7. You shouldn’t play hide and seek, no one would look for you. Too bad you can’t Photoshop your ugly personality. Don’t worry about me. — Kari Berry (@KariAnnSpriggs) December 5, 2013. The only way to respond in a manner that catches the attention of rude people it seems is to be armed with clever comebacks. Maybe some will say these comebacks are rude, but I think they're perfect for the occasion. Yo mama’s so stupid she put paper on the television and called it paper view. You’re cute. Cappel says the stores are fully stocked but it took some extra leg work, like sometimes finding new vendors, and . Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. I hope you stay there. • If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. What’s that ugly thing growing out of your neck… Oh… It’s your head…. If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet. That must suck. You’re so dumb no one believes you’re my brother. Creighton women's comeback falls short in season-opening loss to Drake. Stupidity’s not a crime, so feel free to go. But there’s more awesome stuff below. Please share this page if you like them.if(typeof __ez_fad_position!='undefined'){__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0')}; Someone was trashing on a user here on Reddit while using awful punctuation. I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. A sharp tongue is no indication of a keen mind. No matter where you go, people, have a way of getting into your head by hurling out savage insults or mean remarks. You prefer three left turns to one right turn. I treasure the time I don’t spend with you. Use these good roasts for bullies and all jerks. Even if you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid! You’re so dumb, your dog teaches you tricks. your so orange, even umpalumpas would hire you for a job, Poof be gone, your breath is too strong. Some people need to learn to mind their own business. Once teacher pointed towards student with her ruler and said: "At the end of this ruler there is an idiot!" Student: Ma'am which end??? You do realize makeup isn’t going to fix your stupidity? But a 62-yard field goal by . It’s looks like your face caught on fire and somebody tried to extinguish it with a hammer. When you're actually in agreement already. 19. Look no further, because here are some good comebacks to use: The best comebacks make you look mature. I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. Otherwise, you’re just an ass. Your ears are so big when you stand on a mountain they look like trophy handles. Everybody loves a good comeback story, whether it's their own or someone else's. When you experience a bad turn of luck or somehow fall short of your goals, it's incredibly satisfying to make a comeback and triumph in […] Pence predicted "we're on the verge of a great conservative comeback all across this country." People are also reading… Iman Shumpert deserves to win 'Dancing with the Stars.' You: You care enough to respond. I forgot the world revolves around you. 11. He hasn’t been back to visit since. I’d give you a nasty look, but you’ve already got one. Last time I saw something like you, I flushed it. If you’re going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard. I sure hope there's a lifeguard in your gene pool. You’ll definitely enjoy it. Save these roasting jokes and comebacks for the privacy of your own home, or for people who'll understand that they're just that — jokes.
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