Grandpa: Relax. Max Goldman: I got a cactus in my bathroom, but we got nothing to say to each other. Having some of the one-liners spewed out from the end of the movie would have been fantastic! Web. Kids swallow quarters all the time. Maria: I haven't been with a man for a long time. Grumpier Old Men Quotes Total quotes: 17 Show Metadata Hide Metadata. Max Goldman: That's because you won't be here. Grandpa Gustafson: Well, just as long as you find me. Max Goldman: You don't have the balls to take me on any more. When an attractive widow moves in nearby, their bad blood erupts into a high-stakes rivalry full of naughty jokes and adolescent hijinks. Max Goldman: You cut that too you dick head. Mama Ragetti: We could have retired in Hawaii. . John Gustafson: This milk has chunks in it. 24 Oct. 2020. Uh huh, … If you believe that any Site Content infringes upon your copyright, please notify us by email support@quotecatalog.com. Max Goldman: You cut the anchor you dumb ass. Meanwhile, a sultry Italian divorcée opens a restaurant at the local bait shop, alarming the locals who worry she'll scare the fish away. Grandpa Gustafson: I have been to Hawaii. John: You die today, I'm taking your motor. Grandpa Gustafson: Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya. Will John: And you know how I really feel about Jacob. Max Goldman: Why don't you do the world a favor? See more ideas about Grumpy old men, Old man quotes, Twisted humor. I didn't think he would last that long. When an attractive widow moves in nearby, their bad blood erupts into a high-stakes rivalry full of naughty jokes and adolescent hijinks. Max Goldman: Finally. So tell me, was it more of a hold up than a stick up? "Grumpier Old Men Quotes." more on this quote ›› “- Grandpa Gustafson: Last Thursday, I turned 95 years old. Max: You know I didn't mean what I said about Melanie. “Grumpier Old Men” Quotes 20 quotes. The success of Grumpy Old Men made this 1995 sequel practically mandatory, and although it's not much more than a Grumpy retread, the same schtick is just as funny the second time around. Grandpa Gustafson: Well, you can wish in … John Gustafson: Pop, I wish you'd try the low-fat bacon. Dec 25, 2019 - Explore Pamela Schifano's board "Grumpy old men quotes", followed by 242 people on Pinterest. Meredith Grumpier Old Men Quotes Grumpy Old Men Grandpa Quotes Muppets Old Men Quotes Grumpier Old Men Bacon Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes Ariel's got you neutered. Geraldo: "Lesbian Bandits" next on "Geraldo". Grumpy Old Men Quotes Total quotes: 19 Show Metadata Hide Metadata. The impending wedding of Kevin Pollak (as Matthau's son) and Daryl Hannah (as Lemmon's daughter) puts love in the air, so it's not too long before Matthau and Loren are singing "That's Amore." “- John Gustafson: Nobody slept with anybody. Grandpa Gustafson: Well, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which gets filled first. Feb 16, 2020 - Explore Michelle Engel's board "Grumpy old men quotes", followed by 232 people on Pinterest. Jacob: You're a child. John Gustafson: Alright, then grab the net. John: He was always very fond of you, Max. John Gustafson: Pop, I wish you'd try the low-fat bacon. Jacob: Oh it never is. Max Goldman: Don't tell me Jacob; it isn't me. All rights reserved. “- Maria Sophia Coletta Ragetti: I've never seen, “How about you come back to my place and I'll, “Do you think we should ask her for some garlic. Max Goldman: You traitor, you Benedict Arnold. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Pull your lip over your head and swallow. See more ideas about Grumpy old men, Grumpy old men quotes, Old man quotes. If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying. Max: Yeah, well, he deserves to be happy. “- John Gustafson: This milk has chunks in it. “- John Gustafson: You won't even know I'm, “You can wish in one hand and crap in the other, and see which one gets fill first.”, “- Maria Sophia Coletta Ragetti: I'd rather, “I just met a girl named Maria, and suddenly I see she's not the... bitch I thought she would be.”. Grandpa: Sure. “That's all there is; there isn't anymore.” —Ethel Barrymore, For decades, next-door neighbors and former friends John and Max have feuded, trading insults and wicked pranks. Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau reunited as the Minnesota neighbors who make a hobby out of mutual aggravation, but while Lemmon's married (to Ann-Margret), this time it's Matthau who's looking for love. Max: I knew your old man longer than I knew my own. Quotes.net. Privacy Statement • Grumpier Old Men A family wedding reignites the ancient feud between next-door neighbors and fishing buddies John and Max. Grumpy Old Men For decades, next-door neighbors and former friends John and Max have feuded, trading insults and wicked pranks. Will, “Kids; can't live with them, can't shoot them.”, “Looks like Chuck's taking old one-eye to the optometrist.”, “Hey, watch your mouth you dumb friggin' Swede.”, “If I had known I would be doing a nude scene, I'd have asked for another million.”, “When I had my ulcers, I was farting razor blades.”, “Do me a favor. Max: Even your infantile penis jokes seem funny and witty this morning. STANDS4 LLC, 2020. And I never exercised a day in my life. John Gustafson: I am going down and apologizing to Maria. Max Goldman: If my dog was as ugly as you, I'd shave his ass and teach him to walk backwards. MovieQuotes.com © 1998-2020 | All rights reserved, “There are many fish In the sea but you’re the only one I'd want to stuff and mount over my fireplace.”. --Jeff Shannon. John: Gangster, huh? And Burgess Meredith (in one of his final screen roles) returns as Lemmon's saucy old father, who gets all the best lines and delivers them with lusty vigor. He finds it when Sophia Loren arrives to open an Italian ristorante on the site of Jack and Walter's favorite bait shop, but only after the grumpy guys have done their best to stop the ristorante from opening. But she's l Terms of Use • I looked, but didn't see.... https://www.quotes.net/movies/grumpier_old_men_quotes_4811. Put your lip over your head... and swallow.”. John Gustafson: You won't even know I'm here. © 2020 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Meta • Your notice should include (a) a description of the copyrighted work that you claim has been infringed; (b) the URL where the allegedly infringing Site Content is located; (c) your full name, postal address, telephone number, and email address; (d) a statement that you have a good faith belief that the use of the allegedly infringing material on our Sites is not authorized; (e) your physical or electronic signature; and (f) a statement that you are the copyright owner or an authorized agent of the copyright owner. Meredith Grumpier Old Men Quotes Grumpy Old Men Grandpa Quotes Muppets Old Men Quotes Grumpier Old Men Bacon Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes Bob Marley Quotes Bruce Lee Quotes Buddha Quotes Confucius Quotes John F. Kennedy Quotes Grumpy Old Men Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau are reunited in this popular 1993 comedy, in which the Odd Couple veterans play John and Max (respectively), a pair of elderly bachelors whose lifelong friendship is based on mutual aggravation and constant bickering.